Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
