That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we made out on top of his cat.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
