Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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