He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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