what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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