I just saw a hot homeless man
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
how drunk are you?
Several
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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