I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
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