he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
