I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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