I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
