A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
