don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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