My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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