If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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