I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think my moral compass just broke
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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