somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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