nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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