Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
