Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
