Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
