ya dads aren't the best wingmen
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
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