one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It was confusing and full of hummus
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
