Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
