I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
my poor anus
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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