I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
