I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
