Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
