It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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