i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You dont lie about slip and slides
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
