3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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