I want to stick my p in your. b.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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