watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
