my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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