I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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