now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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