If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The uberlube is also flammable
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
