That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
home. puking in laundry basket.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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