My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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