i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Welp...herpes.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
