i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
