super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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