guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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