bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
