Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
