Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
