I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
