he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
