He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
