I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
