My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
