check it out our google latitudes are spooning
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Blood and glitter go together right?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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