the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
